Online Dating and Comedy

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So I have recently tried online dating and joined a popular site. I got a lot of messages but everyone loved my profile and laughed. I don’t think it is funny but apparently everyone else did…I am not feeling too good so here is my profile and that is the end of that :)

Ok folks, so let’s ditch this popsicle stand and get to rock and rolling…
About me:
I am super high energy, I like to think it’s because I am awesome and fabulous, but it may be in part due to my ADHD. Pish posh apple sauce. I do not take life very seriously and tend to view the glass as half full well actually over flowing. I am pretty optimistic and hopeful in most situations, even when odds are against me. But for some odd reason, things ALWAYS work out in my favor. You might be able to tell I am super goofy and silly. My friends say I have a quirky sense of humor, once again I just say fabulous. I am excited about life. Like really excited. I am just really happy to be alive and am told on a weekly basis (by complete strangers nonetheless) I radiate “love/energy/hope/optimism/positivity/etc.”. Thanks, but I am just doing my own thing. I dance when I hear music I like, yes this may be in a pet store or while driving. I am very forward and blunt. There are no games or hidden messages about me, you will know explicitly if I like or dislike something either by facial expression or verbal expression. So yeah, I have a zero tolerance for bs. You want to go play in the mud, go do that on your own terms, I am a woman and like to have my stuff together so go have fun with bs. I hate being ignored. Go tell me to peck off if you don’t want to talk to me…lack of social interaction is actually considered inhumane and cruel punishment- look under the Geneva Convention code.

Ok so you probably want to know some real potatoes and not these grits…I am originally from Philly but moved to Boston last year for my MPH (go health policy and management! !! And shout out to pharmaceuticals! !!). My undergraduate degree was from a small liberal arts college in PA in psychobiology and statistics. Umm I am pretty driven and focused in school and strive my best. In between degrees I worked as a scientist and engineer for major pharma doing downstream protein purification. ..and no I was not a tech. Right now I spend my days being fabulous and doing policy type of work. Interns and grad students run healthcare btw…so don’t hate Obama hate us. But hey, antimicrobial resistance can only be fought so well by untrained grad students. 

I am pretty independent. If you’re a gold digger, don’t holla for a dolla (thanks Honey Boo Boo). I want primarily cartoons and documentaries. I really enjoy reading. I am physically active although may not look it (I’ve a natural hour glass figure, sorry I will never be thin and look like a banana). I have braces currently because well being a public health gal, my bite was off and my molars needed to be realigned. So if you don’t like brace faces, go floss your teeth and go away.

My obese black cat, Olivia, means the world to me. One man talked crap about her. Seriously, if you’re this insane go check into a hospital or demand assisted outpatient therapy for MA (one of the 6 states that don’t have AOT). Or go get a hug you miserable person.

About you:
I wear my heart on my sleeve. I love attention and affection. I give it and like it in return. Chilvary is NOT dead, heck go check out Parker Croft’s film “Falling Overnight”. Please be in shape kr like healthy looking. O and flossing is a must. Poor hygiene is absolutely repulsive. And someone who is not a play boy and looking for commitment. And no racists please. Or psychos. Or dependent men. Or stage 5 clingers. Just be real and not a flake o bake. No one likes Corn Flakes and they’ve been around longer than you–so no one will like you if you’re one. O and please be like 25-35ish. I am not looking for a sugar daddy or some older man. I am sure you’re great, but I do not want to tea bag it.

K thanks folks. Remember: stay classy

O and I travel a lot and speak Italian. I know some French and German and a few Greek words. 
Quindi, è molto piacere. Ciao ciao!

 

First Date
Ok so listen I really am not into tattoos at all. It is a huge turn off. Don’t flaunt them to me, all I can see is Hepatitis C and other public health messages emblazoned onto your skin.
My first dates have ranged anywhere from the Eiffel Tower to grabbing milkshakes and watching cartoons to hiking to no first date and just making out. Meaning I am pretty open except I am putting off the sex tjing till I fall in love. Makeouts on first dates happen no more. 
O and fat people and those who do not floss are the biggest turn off ever. I can’t deal with them. Go ahead judge me, I judged you.
The few military men I have dated have all turned out to be grade A psychos-full of themselves, arrogant, uneducated, selfish, very opinionated and accusatory, and just all around horrible people. This site has only confirmed my past experiences. So if you’re in the military or were, please feel to prove me wrong. And no I am not against it, I applied for a position withing my field to work for the Marines. I also own a gun and can shoot. So munch on that…let’s go to the range. Now that’s a first date.

Am I the only woman that doesn’t care that he’s a surgeon? Yep!

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Hi all!

How have you all been? I hope fantastic! Sorry I have been out of the loop for a bit but we’ve had finals and they’ve been super busy for us.  I have been writing up a storm like no other and just super duper busy!

Anyway, this post will have to be brief.  So I wrote about going out with CP initially. We went to dinner and chatter and got to know one another better.  Well, a week later, and we realize that we are exhausted.  So, he is doing his surgery residency (going into plastic surgery eventually) so he works insane hours and is super busy.  Great for me considering I love being independent.  Anyway, we decided that we both wanted to see each other but we were both too tired to do much of anything – so we opted on staying inside and watching movies and eating cookies!

I drove out to his place since my place was a bit messy – that and he lives an hour away and has to wake up at 4:30am so I thought it would be best if I could save him 2 hours in driving and he could sleep instead.  Well, I arrived at his home and he has such a cute home! I was really impressed that a bachelor would have such a home and how he maintained it was rather impressive.  Him being clean and organized is a super plus!

So we settled down to watch You, Me and Dupree and had a fun time.  We were being goofy throughout the whole movie and just really enjoyed ourselves.  We then both discovered our love of King of the Hill.  Wow – we are totally obsessed with it.  He was getting my obscure references and we then bolted up stairs to settle in for an hour of pure King of the Hill bliss.

We watched it for an hour and were just being goofy.  It was a fun and relaxing time.  His birthday is tomorrow but yet again, he has to work.  He is celebrating the evening with his family and has to wake up early Friday for work.  Even though I totally support what he is doing as it is his passion and he loves his job, I do wish that I did get to see him more than once a week.  He sure is handsome!  And respectful and just a nice person!

It feels good to be with someone who is respectful of me and doesn’t accuse me of things.  It also feels good to be with someone who actually listens to me and effectively communicates with me.  I am really happy that I met CP :)

So, anyway, I naturally told all of my friends about CP.  And sure, he is a surgeon and has his life together (what man buys a home at the age of 22? Yeah, this one does!) which is all great and dandy.  But I like him for him.  All of my friends are giving me slack for not being ‘appreciative that I could potentially marry a rich doctor’. This is frustrating and agitating for me as I don’t see him like that at all – I see him as a goof ball that I text non stop throughout the day.  I see him as a surgery resident and someone to giggle with.  

I just wish that more women had respect for people and not their professions.  It is like women feeling like a man likes them only for their looks and it hurts them.  Well, I am sure that it would hurt someone if you only looked at their career choice.  We should look at the person as the entire picture and embrace them for who they are.

I like CP because of who he is.  Not necessarily what he does.  I like him because he’s passionate about his career choice.  He can make me laugh and he’s just an all around great guy.  Can’t the ladies just back off and just let me be happy with him as a person?  Besides, he has a really nice smile, so try to enjoy that :D

Well, time to edit a paper!

Love always,

Em

Pre Interviews for PhD – O YEAH!

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So I am exhausted and I promise to update this post later…

I had 2 pre interviews with one school that I am interested in pursuing my PhD at.  I spoke with one potential advisor, the department chair and the head of the school and they all seem really excited to have me apply.  The head of the school and the department chair said that tomorrow, when they have their first admissions committee meeting, that they are going to try to convince the admissions committee to ‘heavily consider me’ – even though I have not yet submitted my application.

Wow – that was pretty flattering.

One potential adviser began negotiating a stipend for me (I guessed 20 and he doubled it). Another potential adviser said that if I cannot find a perfect fit, he will take me on and oversee my research as he would ‘love to see me at ___’.

All in all, a pretty amazing week.

Now, I am exhausted.  GD and I have been up ALL night recently working along our projects and chatting.  Feels great to have a wonderful, supportive, intelligent and just all around amazing study buddy.

Goodnight big world!

Love,

Em

Blocking Negativity Out of Life

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If you’ve been reading then you’re on the scoop. If not, then here is a little synopsis:

SM has contacted me a few times over the course of the last 3 weeks or so.  Each time, they have been negative contacts.  The one time, he sent me a Gchat message saying: Good morning __ (my name) at like 230am.  He then liked 3 of my Facebook statuses at like 5am and then called me leaving a cryptic voice message saying to call him ASAP at 10pm all within the same day. When I finally got these messages the following day (I often leave my phone at home while I am out doing school work since it provides less distraction), I called him to ask him what’s up.  He asked me if I had hacked into his phone the day before Thanksgiving and called up one of his co workers using his cell phone number harassing her.  (Even if I had wanted to do this, everyone knows how bad I am with electronics – I tend to break them and couldn’t even install Windows 8 on my own…it is bad!).  So then he contacted me again a few days late regarding a phone call I gave to his grandmom and he was very snippy with me and curt with me over the phone.  Both times, he had hurt my feelings as I thought I was just living my life as happy as I can be and doing what I do in Boston (live, laugh, love, learn, eat and pray and just well – be me!) and not affecting his life in a negative way at all.  

On both accounts, SM had hurt my feelings.  After our last discussion, I was very hurt to know that he did not value our friendship any more and it hurt me badly.  I wrote about it so feel free to go and explore.  Well, I thought to myself:  I need to stop crying.  I live a near perfect life and don’t know why each time he reaches out to me it has to be on a negative note.

So what did I do? I blocked his number.

Now, this is something that I rarely do.  In fact, I only have 2 other numbers blocked.  One is an ex boyfriend who still asks for nude pictures of me and tries to use me as his ‘side’ girl from across the country – keep in mind we broke up YEARS ago and I have ZERO interest in him at ALL.  And I was getting really tired of him sending me pictures of him bent over and seeing his gooch.  The other number that I blocked was that of my semi cousin JR who is an absolute drug addict psycho and in the military but feels the need to call and text me all hours of the day about his delusions and fantasies and just destroying me life (he is the reason why SM and I broke up).  JR still continues to harass me to this day when he can…the last message that I got from him is that he ‘knows about my secret life’ and how he ‘did research on me’ and knows that ‘I am not in school but rather a wanna be high class hooker’ and how I am on ‘tons of drugs’ and I ‘sleep with men who think they’re rich for their money’ and something about the immaculate conception and me.  Yeah, he is grade A mental health services patient…serious serious help is needed there for JR.  

Well, so I have those 2 blocked on my phone. Sounds fair enough, right?  But as for me blocking SM?  I was tired of him contacting me and being negative towards me for no reason when my life is so perfect and wonderful now.  I mean, so much is going on for me. I am winning scholarships left and right.  PhD applications are going sooo well! School is going amazing. I am winning accolades and awards.  I feel confident.  I am making real friends and having a blast. I am the healthiest I have been in some time. I love what I do.  I am finally on good terms with my family.

My life is absolutely perfect – so why have someone who means so much to me try to bring me down?  I could not find a single reason to let this continue happen.

I hope that if SM and I do ever speak again, that he reaches out to me on his own and in good terms.  I hope that he still values our friendship somewhere deep down inside.  I hope that he realizes what best friends are made of.  I really do.  He was a great best friend and a wonderful lover, but the love part is no more and it was bound to fade…when you’re 80, the love fades but the friendship remains true.  I was hoping that he valued our friendship as much as I did.  We promised that no matter what we’d be best friends…friends to the end…that an eternity was not enough.  It hurts to know that his promises were false.  It hurts just as much to think of this in the context of MT, my other best friend. If she did this, I would be just as devastated.

So, what is my point here?  Love the ones that you have for tomorrow they may be gone.  But at the same time, do not let people bring you down in life.  Love is mutual and a two way street – these people should want you to love yourself and to grow and not bring you down.

Love yourself. Spread the love.

Love,

Em

Prince Charming is Real

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My last post ended on a sour and weird note…sorry about that.  But how I said from the beginning and as it is in my header: This is my life and I am writing it in the most candid style possible.

I met someone tonight and we went on a date. A legit romantic sweet and out of the movies type of date.  So we met in the North End and had such a lovely dinner in this small hole in the wall place.  It was so tiny – kind of like the place that SM and I found when we went the Paris for my birthday.  It was so picturesqueness and perfect and SUPER romantic :)

It was an Italian place which was super fun.  We had dinner and a glass of wine and it was lovely.  So we decided to go walking around the North End just chatting and enjoying one another’s company.  We then found this hole in the wall bakery that we swore was closed and got cookies! SO yummy! So much fun! :)

Then, we went out to some swanky bar and grabbed drinks.  We chatted some more…

The night ended and we hugged goodnight.

It was just so perfect and cute.  I just had a really fun time and I hope he did to :) He said he did which made me happy.

Ok so you’re probably wondering about the guy – WHO IS HE?  Well, his name is CP.  He is Greek and OMG like gorgeous!!!

I have an obsession with German/Austrian men as I think I wrote about before (referencing AW on Thanksgiving dinner and our girl chat!).  He has blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes.  He has a slamming body and dresses so sharp.  So stylish.  Just straight up hot and sexy and gorgeous and classy.

He is a surgeon and loves what he does. He is excellent with working with his hands (his father is a contractor so he is used to working with his hands).  Super hot!  He is super sweet and romantic and opened doors for me the entire time.  Was incredibly respectful and just super fun.  We could not stop talking the entire night and chatting.  We had so much in common and good interests which was pretty amazing and interesting :)

I did get drunk though (I had 2 drinks) and grabbed pizza afterwards.  It was a fun time :)

So, the date was great. I came home and spent the night watching chick flicks :D With my Olivia of course!

So I hope that there are many more dates to come and of course, I will keep you all updated.  He does work insane hours as he works in the SICU so I hope we do get to spend some more time together.

O and the kicker? He does not live at home with his parents.  Thank God! He owns his own house which is such a relief to see an independent man.  He is super athletic (skied 5 days a week in high school and did crew in college and is just super athletic).

I am so happy I met him – even if just as a friend.  Well readers, it is almost 6am. I think I need to get some sleep…

Love,

Em

A Sign From God = A Punch in the Face

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My life is crazy – and I swear I am living a sitcom sometimes.  I really don’t do anything abnormal (I have been studying/tutoring/researching/reading/all the like since noon yesterday – about 27 hours now).  But the weirdest things seem to happen to me…

I knew I needed to move on and get over SM as my heart was aching very badly in October.  So I joined a dating website rather briefly.  I did not do much on these websites at all and kept them inactive.  Actually, I totally forgot about them in their entirely until one night, when one of my goofy friends, mentioned Chat Roulette.  So I thought to myself: Hey, it is like 3am and I am bored out of my mind, why not video chat with a stranger?  So I did some research and found out that 1 ‘dating website’ is actually more of a chat website where you can enter a massive chat room and just chat with people.  So I did just that and boy o boy was it entertaining. Some really wacky people out there…

Well, I found it very entertaining and so I returned the following night.  Keep in mind, I was never on for extended periods of time since my schedule tends to be crazy busy, but during that time I met a pretty cool guy, AM.  Well, he seemed like the only normal person on the site and so we began chatting.

I wrote about AM before and how we became friends.  We never really progressed past that point.  Well, he told me after a few days that he began to like me and all…I thought hey, he’s an alright looking guy and nice enough, what the heck do I got to lose? So we chatted some more and more and really hit it off.  Well, I told him on a Monday that I was beginning to really like him, you know not like just a O hey you’re a friend type of like but express interest in him.  Things were going really well and nothing bad at all was going on (with the exception of his x girlfriend harassing and threatening me but this had been going on for weeks before and it did not affect us or our friendship – so I did not think that it’d have any effect now).  Well, as soon as I told him that, the following day I get a message from him saying that he can’t talk to me anymore at all and that he’s removing himself from the situation.  I thought to myself: O God, why? I am trying to hard to move on from SM and found a pretty good guy, why why why?  Should I not move on?

Well, SM and I began talking a bit more and our friendship seemed to be improving so I thought that maybe God was like O hey don’t move on just yet or something like that.  Well, I knew that SM did not love me and was not attracted to me anymore and knew that I still had to move on and get out there.

So I met a really great guy, KP.  As I talked about before KP is great.  He is super handsome, a surgeon, sweet, insanely smart, kind, understanding, faithful, treats me like a princess, adores me, only has eyes for me, thinks I am perfect, not condescending, is a gentleman – the list goes on.  He is just an all around great guy.  

As I wrote about before, I had not kissed anyone since SM since I did not feel that spark.  Well, the day before SM and I spoke (the conversation that ended our friendship – which I hope is not a permanent ending as he is my best friend), KP kissed me.  He kind of did it forcefully and as he was doing it I thought to myself:  Em, do you feel the spark?  Do you?  Come on, just give it a try and see if it’s there…

Yeah, it was not there.  Maybe it was due to the fact that he was forcefully kissing me so that I was pressed up against the window so hard that the back of my head hurt.  Or maybe because he was literally sucking on my upper lip at one point.  Or maybe it was due to the fact that he was literally tracing his tongue around my braces throughout most of it.  Or maybe it was the fact that he was darting his tongue in and out.  Or maybe it was the fact that after I said enough and was laughing so hard because it was so bad he went to my neck and left red marks (I pushed him off).  

He asked to go back to my place and I said no I am not ready for that and I am not having sex as I told you before.  He said ok.  He seemed fine with it and was sweet about it and left.  We then texted each other throughout the night.  You know, the typical cutsie flirty stuff. It was not the best kiss by any means, but hey, I liked KP.  Things were going great with us.  I was really happy.

The following day, someone, AS, that I am not a huge fan of (he is arrogant, condescending, needy and very aggressive but has good intentions and is a really nice person – just annoying really) messaged me.  He asked if he could go to Mass with me as he was interested in exploring different faiths.  I of course said YES! I was so excited and since KP and I were telling each other everything and texting non stop at this point, I thought that he’d be happy and maybe come along this time (I invite him everywhere I go including Mass, but he always declines).  

Well, KP apparently did not like the fact that another man asked me if he could go on a ‘date’ to church.  Yes, I kid you not.  He got jealous because someone asked if they could go to church with me.  He got so jealous, that when KP saw AS later that evening (we all go to the same school) KP began yelling at AS.  AS told KP to calm down and to talk to him in a civilized manner but if he was not going to talk to him in a civilized manner then AS would not talk with him at all because he doesn’t want to be screamed at in front of everyone while at school.  I think that is a fair statement, right?  Well, KP did not.  KP continued to scream and yell and began throwing things up in the air and directed towards AS.  AS tried to calm KP down and then KP punched AS really hard…in the face.  In the face.  Yes…AS sought medical treatment and all.  It was bad.

Where in the world did this come from? I have no clue…needless to say I messaged KP as soon as I found out about this from several sources and he ignored me.  I called him and he ignored me.  Ok…so I explained to him that I cannot be with him if he has these violent tendencies as his reaction to something so trivial worries me for my safety in the future.  Plus, I would want to be with a more mature and responsible person…not someone who flips about going to church with someone.

So the day that SM and I had the conversation that ended our friendship (which I hope is not permanent as he is my best friend) was the same day that KP punched AS.  Is God telling me something?

I have NEVER had this bad of luck with men before – meaning such blatant and random things where it ends.  NEVER.  It is normally a culmination of events – not one defining (and strange and super obvious) event and ones that happen at such inappropriate times.

Seriously God, I know that you speak to us all and sometimes in strange ways, but what are you trying to tell me?  

Are you trying to tell me that this isn’t over till the fat lady sings?  Or are you trying to tell me that I needed a slap in the face to wake up about the situation and what to do – but instead as a punch in a Hindu’s face?  What are you trying to tell me? Please, just for future reference God, don’t let anyone else get hurt…I love and appreciate your communication with me, but the punching was just too much…or maybe it was just what the doctor (KP) ordered…

I don’t know…I give up…I think I am just going to sit back and enjoy the ride…

Love, 

Em